the end is ((kinda)) here

well, this semester is looking like it’s one of those that i didn’t really ever see things ending up like this…i feel like i get that a lot. blind sighted by things that didn’t seem like a big deal…then all of a sudden WHAM! i’m knocked back and feeling worse off than before. 

i mean…i’ve always been able to see both sides of things…but recently it’s just been too hard to see how things could be any better…or to see how i can come out of this with the initial dream i set out to accomplish. 

so what does that mean?

it means i don’t get a break, really…and that next semester (along with one more carry over thing) is going to make or break whether or not i get to go on with the spring semester as i originally planned.

i look at my life and the many opportunities that i’ve had to stay in certain great states and to learn…and i definitely have a lot of regrets with that. i don’t know how things after graduation will look…how i can live anywhere at all after graduation…where i should even start looking for a job…yikes. it’s definitely going to be a time, let me tell you. 

but i guess i’v efelt similar to this other semesters and look where i am. things have worked out…and i guess it’s another lesson in how i don’t have control and how i can still function with whatever thing is placed in my way. 

so glad i have amazing people around me that can help me along when i feel like laying down and sleeping forever. ha. but really…without them and the faith they have in me…i don’t  think i would have made it this far, even. 

 

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